Can You Trust Your First Impressions?
One should be judged by one's intrinsic value as a unique human being. However, it is often the first impression that determines whether you will invest the time and effort to discover someone's distinctive personal qualities. Our first impressions are frequently based upon instinct and emotion and dubious beliefs, not on rational thought or fact-based evidence. How good are you at sizing up your car salesman, blind date, teacher or therapist? In some cases, it really isn't important if you are overly optimistic or pessimistic in your initial judgment. Though there are situations in which correctly predicting someone's behavior can save your life or dramatically change it. Next time you take your life in your hands by traveling our nation's highways and byways, notice how often you accurately predict another driver's behavior. You intuitively know which drivers are prone to be aggressive and foolhardy and which ones will politely occupy their designated lane and sanely maneuver their 6,000-pound weapon. Consequently, we have good news . . . you have the ability to make accurate, split-second judgments.
A perceptive friend met her soul mate via e-mail by mistakenly replying to the wrong man and then having the good sense to realize that he, the wrong man, was Mr. Right. By the way, Mr. Right is a cop. Did preconceptions flood your mind when you read the word "cop?" Do we make hard-and-fast judgments about people based on their occupation or age, height, education, weight, etc.? Yes, we do.
How did she discover the cop was a rare find when she could not use appearance and body language (65 to 80 % of our perception comes from body language) to shape her "first impression"? I will tell you. Since her customary first-impression sources were unavailable, she reserved judgment until she knew more about him. Wow, what a radical concept. She had the opportunity, through e-mail conversations, to genuinely "hear" him before she could factor in other less-significant characteristics. She consistently heard sensitivity, honor, intelligence, principles and compassion. Again, our initial impression of others is positively related to how physically attractive they are, according to our culture and personal preferences. If they had met under other circumstances, would she have taken the time to learn that he was an intriguingly complex and wonderfully caring man? It is unlikely. Frightening? Enormously!
Research studies indicate that we form first impressions based on certain predictable variables. A study by UCLA found that "people evaluate one another using the three V's: visual (appearance), vocal (voice) and verbal (what you say)." If a man looks like Brad Pitt and has the intelligence of Albert Einstein, but regrettably sounds like Miss Piggy, he will probably be a "first impression" casualty. The Primacy Effect means that the first information we learn about someone will have greater impact than subsequent information. In addition, a negative impression is more resistant to change than a positive impression. Your also memory plays a part in first impressions. According to Availability Heuristic, our impressions are based on what we remember about a person. Therefore, if you want to make a phenomenal first impression on people, modulate your voice to a pleasant tone, dress stylishly, be well groomed, be witty, remember your high school grammar, and hit them with your most impressive characteristics first. Then pray they will remember.
What are your first impressions based on?
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