Online Dating - BLUESSINGER1 - Eddie Crowe & THE BLUES UNCHAINED to enter the IBC

I'm writing a book so I need to write down these things anyway. This kills 2 birds with one stone and its a preview of the book and movie. So here we go Signing autographs near Hollywood as Russell Crowe was a hoot. I stayed on the Queen Mary,Antique Ship Hotel that looks like the Titanic.It's permanently fixed in Long Beach Ca. I sent my agent down to the gift shop to get me a pack of cigarettes. I gave him 8 dollars. Well he was 12 cents short. While he was there he was throwing my last name around. Explained he was Mr Crowes agent ,Mr Crowe this and Mr Crowe that. So he's got them thinking I'm Russell Crowe. There is a hell of a resemblance and I think I'm related in some way. So he comes back with the smokes and tells me I owe them 12 cents.We were going to eat dinner and on the way I stopped by to pay them.I didn't know anything about what he told them. When I saw the look on their faces when I walked in the store at first I looked behind me back over both shoulders because I thought someone famous was behind me.Then I realized they thought I was him.I had to think fast and act like Russell Crowe.Then my agent says to them. Well don't just stand there give him something to sign get some autographs.So the guy running the store hands me a stack of Queen Mary postcards. I still have some of them. Next thing you know I'm signing autographs as Russell Crowe. Another one.I was at home and the phone rang one day and for some reason I answered in the deepest voice I have which is really deep.Its kind of intimidating and scarey. The person on the other end of the phone says. Hello, May I speak to the lady of the House? BINGO!! In a deeper angrier and scarier voice, I said YOU'RE SPEAKING TO HER!! Then they hung up on me. More? We had a machine at work that had an engine on it . They used it to grind the built up hardened grease off the concrete floor. Being a an engine driven machine it took one sparkplug. Well they left the machine right in the middle of where i had to work. Not cool and extra hassle for me. So I removed the spark plug and replaced it with a grease fitting that looks just like a spark plug only the center is hollow. I replaced the spark plug wire onto the grease fitting. It looked perfectly normal. Then I had the people that left it there come down and get it out of my way. When they tried to start it up the compressed air made the spark plug wire fly off. They must have tried to start that thing fifty times.I was cracking up watching them.They never did figure it out.More?. I was staying in a room at a hotel near Baltimores inner harbour.The room had a window in a dormer.I was sitting there drinking beer and catchin a buzz. I had the window open and heard someone playing music. I stuck my head out the window and looked up and down the street. Couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Then I looked across the street and in a reflection in the windows I saw the guy playing guitar and singing right under my window.I was on the 4th floor. My window was recessed back into the roof so he couldn't see me.BRAINSTORM I folded up a dollar bill,lengthwise, flattened it out and sailed it out the window.It went down floating side to side like a feather. I was watching the guy in the glass.It came down right in front of him and landed a few feet away He saw it stopped playng,set his guitar down ran over and picked it up. I was cracking up watching this happen in the window across the street.I kept doing it and waited till some people came walking by .Timed it just right too.It floated down just as they were passing him. I must have sent 15 bucks down there and after the first few he was hollering thank you.I took pictures of him in the windows as I was doing it.When you enlarge them you can see him in the pictures. Here's another one. I hired a limo to take me fishin on Memeorial day . The limo showed up .I came out of the house no shoes opened denim shirt with the sleeves missing and a pair of denim cut offs. As I came down the sidewalk the driver asked me if I was leaving.I said yes . He got back in the limo and backed it up.Then he sat there a while and I just stood there. After a few minutes he hollered out the window. Hey I thought you were leaving. I said, i am, I'm leaving with you. He thought I was leaving in my car and he had me blocked in so he moved to let me get out.I figured I'm already acting kind of nuts I mean hiring a limo to go fishin isn't really a normal thing to do so I said to him,Hey man,listen. Tthe guy that you are taking fishing is in the house getting ready. I'm going with you guys. He's a little nutzo but he won't hurt anybody and he'll be right out.He says ok thats cool. So I waited a few more minutes till I couldn't stand it anymore and I told him. Listen man, I'm the whacko guy that hired you to take me fishin. Lets roll. On the way to the fishin spot I had him pull around the corner from a pizza place where I had worked for a little while delivering food. I had my boss come out and around the corner to the limo. Then I put my arm around him and said I QUIT. The expression on his face looked like he just ate a bad anchovie. Then I ordered a box of chicken wings and made them deliver them to the fishin spot.The limo driver looked just like MARTIN LAWRENCE the comedian actor only older.That worked out perfectly and he went along with everything. So we went to the fishin spot about 2 miles away.All I caught was a stick. A little branch off of a tree.I really hooked it and reeled it in. Even got a picture of me laying it on a board about to filet it. About 15 minutes before the limo was to leave I asked the driver to pop the hood so I could see the engine. He says ok and did it. Then I reached in my back pocket and pulled out a big piece piece of aluminum foil I had folded up and told him. I forgot my grill and wanted to streatch the foil over the engine to cook the fish my friend caught. He helped me do it and I have a picture of him helping me cover the engine and giving me a thumbs up once we had the engine covered.I took pictures of the entire fiasco. I just wish I had a video camera. I intend to recreate one it on video. Make it into a short comedy film. Limo $150,drivers tip $50, chicken wings $6,tip $6.32 The look on my bosses face PRICELESS!!!I spent the last $212.32 dollars I had to my name and was smiling the whole time and all I caught was a stick. Its bark was worse than its bite LOL The picture of me catching the stick is on my cd cover The cd is called Eddie Crowe A MAN'S GOTTA EAT. It's now available at cd baby.The online store for independent artists to sell their music.