Online Dating - CWJB4LIFE - S Jersey guy looking for friends maybe more

If anything at least read the following I need someone who reciprocates a strong feeling of attachment to a partner but who also respects and copes well with the fact that I benefit from a reasonable level of physical and psychological space at times. I need someone who believes and acts on the belief that the intimacy of a relationship is sacred. I need a partner who is energetic, enthusiastic and has high self-efficacy like me and will support or even participate in my personal and professional interests that feed my sense of identity and accomplishment. I need someone who is not looking to be taken care of, but rather who is realistic about the hard work it takes to build and maintain a stable and satisfying relationship. I need someone who will not put up emotional barriers when I seek to understand there thoughts and feelings, but rather will communicate with me intimately and candidly. I need someone who regards sex as a meaningful bond between people in love and who appreciates when it is planned to some extent rather than completely spontaneous. I need someone who believes that the best kind of love grows out of a strong friendship. I need someone who can express affection and show me I am a priority by spending time with me – such as simply talking and cuddling at home, taking leisurely strolls outside or extended road trips.

Interdependence Interdependence refers to how much I need dependency or a “couple identity” with my partner. I tend not to become overly dependent on a romantic partner. I am comfortable being singled out for praise and rewards, and my personal identity and independence from others is important to me. Therefore, I need a reasonable level of independence in a relationship. This does not mean that I do not desire to be close with my partner. Indeed, when I feel close to someone, that person often becomes an important part of who I am on the inside and I like showing off my “couplehood” in public. However, I do not necessarily need to be constantly “joined at the hip” in order to feel connected and secure in a relationship. Bottom line: I need someone who reciprocates a strong feeling of attachment to a partner but who also respects and copes well with the fact that I benefit from a reasonable level of physical and psychological space at times.

Intimacy Intimacy refers to how much I need emotional closeness with my partner. I am very comfortable with being intimate and vulnerable with a partner. However, my desire for emotional closeness and security puts me at some risk for disclosing too much, too soon when a relationship is newly developing. I have a big heart and impressive openness to my partner. That openness includes lessons learned from my past experiences and relationships, extending trust, believing my partner returns my feelings and devotion and being generally comfortable with surrendering my self to a partner. In fact, I feel very uncomfortable – and even guilty – if there were any secrets between me and my partner. Likewise, I regard my lover as my best friend and my foremost confidant. There is typically no hesitation discussing current problems or concerns with this person. I also have realistic expectations for a committed relationship. I am willing to act on the belief that my partner’s feelings are equally as strong as mine. Therefore, I am not deterred in taking the risks associated with being vulnerable on all levels. Bottom line: I need someone who believes and acts on the belief that the intimacy of a relationship is sacred.

Self-efficacy Self-Efficacy refers to my self-image, stability of mood and level of motivation. I am characterized by a strong self-esteem, sense of self and sense of accomplishment. Those who know me best would describe me as influential, patient and accepting of others – and calm, cool and collected most of the time. I am content with my personal qualities and feel I am an attractive person. Moreover, I have a good sense of control over the events in my life and are decisive in managing my life. In this sense, I do not overreact to circumstances as others might do. I am quite adaptable and am able to maintain a balanced perspective on situations. Additionally, I am also very influential and persuasive with others. Therefore, it is expected that family, friends and acquaintances often come to me for ideas of guidance across a range of issues. I am confident that people who are important in my life understand me, but I also tend to be comfortable not giving in to peer, family and other social pressures. Family is indeed important to me, but their expectations do not strongly influence my life. I have my own well-defined ambitions and goals – and set specific benchmarks to monitor the progress made toward achievements. Bottom line: I need a partner who is energetic, enthusiastic and has high self-efficacy like me and will support or even participate in my personal and professional interests that feed my sense of identity and accomplishment.

Relationship readiness Relationship Readiness refers to how prepared I am emotionally, psychologically and pragmatically for a committed relationship. I am happy and content in my life. This is an excellent foundation for a committed relationship. I have a clear vision and a sense of purpose for my life. I connect well with others with effective relationship and dating skills, I have well defined ideas about where my life is headed and I am assertive and resourceful in meeting my goals. Therefore, I feel in control and am able to take charge and go after what I want in life and in a relationship. My housekeeping is in check – meaning that I do not have any negative baggage that can weigh down a relationship, like financial or legal problems or emotional, health or family issues. As such, I am looking for a relationship to complement my life, not to fulfill or “complete” it. Bottom line: I need someone who is not looking to be taken care of, but rather who is realistic about the hard work it takes to build and maintain a stable and satisfying relationship.

Communication Communication refers to my approach to interpersonal interactions and level of emotional intelligence. Effective communicators have strong emotional intelligence, and I have an excellent level of emotional intelligence. It is expected that I show considerable tolerance of ambiguity and emotional expression. I have the capacity for being extremely sensitive to other’s feelings and to their body language. Those who know me well would probably describe me as patient and eager to listen to others. I am not afraid of making or admitting to mistakes. I consistently and bravely show vulnerability to others. In fact, I am keenly aware how my behavior impacts others. I can communicate my needs and feelings honestly when someone engages me directly, but I may not always take the initiative to be assertive with others. In this sense, it is likely that I seek to understand others, rather than seek for others to understand me. Bottom line: I need someone who will not put up emotional barriers when I seek to understand there thoughts and feelings, but rather will communicate with me intimately and candidly.

Sexuality Sexuality refers to my needs (frequency, boundaries, expressions) related to physical intimacy. I have a firm sense of my sexual orientation, preferred sexual activities and comfort level. I like sex that is romantic, adventurous and fun, but for me sex is not a casual event. Sex has great importance in my relationship, and it is reserved for someone I love. I think my sexual preferences are viewed as conservative by others, but I am hardly a prude. I am very confident in my sexual ability, I am not self conscious in bed and I am open to try various activities. I am willing to be vulnerable and relinquish control in the bedroom to my partner. In other words, I am not sexually selfish. While I appreciate spontaneity and wild abandon in sex, I also like for sex to be planned to some extent. This reflects the fact that I like to set the mood, build anticipation and ensure I have privacy and no interruptions. Bottom line: I need someone who regards sex as a meaningful bond between people in love and who appreciates when it is planned to some extent rather than completely spontaneous.

Attitudes toward love Attitudes Toward Love refers to my level of needs for romantic love and friendship love. There are two main types of love – Romantic Love and Companionate Love. Romantic Love is passionate, emotional and intense, whereas Companionate Love is a deep, affectionate attachment. People feel these two types of loves to different degrees in a relationship, and the levels of each can fluctuate over time. I am best described as "a realist with a touch of hopeless romantic.” This means that I do value Romantic Love, but for me a relationship must have a strong dose of Companionate Love. Thus, I believe that differences can be overcome and lasting love can be sustained if the couple does the hard of work of consistently showing mutual understanding and accommodation. I believe soul mates are made, not born. Bottom line: I need someone who believes that the best kind of love grows out of a strong friendship.

Preferred Expressions of Affection< Preferred Expressions of Affection refers to my likes and dislikes for different ways a partner can express love and devotion. There are many ways in which people show affection to their loved ones: physical touch, doing favors, spending time together, giving gifts or communicating love through words. I give higher weighted ratings to the gift of Time. Bottom line: I need someone who can express affection and show me I am a priority by spending time with me – such as simply talking and cuddling at home, taking leisurely strolls outside or extended road trips.