Online Dating - NICKEL1 - Single Software Engineer Dating in San Francisco

About me: Single - no kids, roomates, or angry ex's banging down the door at 2 in the morning screaming, "Who in the hells car is that parked outside your house! WTF! Open this door right now before I set your bushes on fire!" 6'2" non-smoker, non-drinker, non-clubber, drug free. I am pretty square but still fun. 32 and still have all of my own hair, teeth, eyelashes, fingernails, and other bits which are generally most attractive when still attached. I am moderately successful and yes, ladies, I have a house and a car. It's no barbie dream house, but at least it isn't made of pink plastic. Active and fit both mentally and physically. If I was still in high school, I'd be the type to beat myself up and take my own lunch money. I'm a scientist, an artist, a philosopher, and a handyman. Incidentally, duct tape is for loosers - real men have 5 varieties of epoxy and aren't afraid to mix it with THEIR BARE HANDS! I read a lot and create a lot. I always have some crazy half baked scheme I'm attempting to fully bake. I can cook 7 different things which don't require a microwave. I understand and wholeheartedly embrace my traditional manly duties. While I am not an expert in the ancient art of sheetrock hanging, I can fix most common things around the house - or maybe just break them a little more, but then glue stuff on top of them to hide my mistakes. I am also a licenced bug bouncer - I have escorted hundreds of 6 and 8 legged bugs to the door in kleenex chariots. On demand, I will check to see what that noise was in the other room - even if no baseball bat is readilly available. Plenty of hugs and dark chocolate truffles for that time of the month - note: optional punching bag mode also available upon request. Any part of my body is at your disposal for warming ice cold feet in the dead of winter. Additionally, I only require 1/3 of the covers - you are free to use the remaining 2/3 as you see fit. Take more than that and the superglue will come into play, I'm afraid. I'm compassionate, understanding and kind. I've been told I'm em-Pathetic, or is that empathic? :) I am strong and steadfast, yet cutely shy at times. In an emergency you are better off picking me than a fire extinguisher (assuming I'm well hydrated). I am a random giver of gifts. I enjoy shopping for furniture, but not clothes. I am incredible in the sack, though I only have a bed at the moment. - Lets see, a bit about you, the veritable Pocahontas to my Captain Smith: - You have never been in an all out street fight that left your opponent horribly disfigured. Bonus points if you yourself were not disfigured in the same fight. One missing limb is ok. - You have no arch-villans (that you know of) on your trail who might decide to capture your loved ones, tie them up and suspend them over a vat of warm marmalade. (incidentially, this would be fine with you in place of the arch villan) - You should be passionate about life and something in it. - You will need to be at least as sharp as jacks to match my cunning machinations. I love deep philosophical conversations and drive my friends crazy with them. They will thank you for becoming a new target to share the existential burden of my questioning soul. Oh how they will thank you. Really, they will thank you. BE SMART! - You should either have glasses, or be willing to put on a pair of falsies during key moments. Women in glasses are often quite far sighted I'm told. - Kindness, tenderness, compassion and a goofy smile all qualify you for the lightning round. Having these in abundance can cancel out deficiencies in any of the other requirements . well, except for the glasses, and the not missing more than one limb rule. - I would highly prize a cutie pie geek girl, and given the way this ad is being written I expect thats all I would get anyways - all the better! - Willingness to be taught the proper way to kiss. Seriously, I swear - some of you women folk just don't know how to do this right. What have you been practicing on! I could go on and on about you forever, but if this shenanigan of an ad goes on much longer it might begin encroaching on the Geneva convention. If you are slightly crazy and think you might enjoy the company of a compassionate yet strong fella, then drop me a line. What the hell, I've had this post up for at least 20 minutes and my email isn't clogged with procreation requests from hundreds of supermodels. Please contact me, I will respond to every contact I get.