ORGASMATRON - More fun than you can imagine

My mom does my Ironing, I can't fix a damn thing, I don't get into guy toys like machines or things that make explosive sounds, I make the woman pay for her own meal.and my meal too. I bring my teddy bear with me on first dates. I act like an arrogant jerk, and flirt with the waitress. I laugh at inapropriate times. I am a prankster. I take nothing seriously, I am fake, and shallow. I believe everything someone tells me. I eat the young of rival males. I can spit real far. Opera amuses me. I will never marry again. I spend all my money on guitars. I am a super hero to my kids. I don't eat Jello. I still watch Schoolhouse Rock. I think NASCAR is Retarded. I love my job. I am always right. I throw a tantrum if you don't kiss me. I am threatened by all of your ex boyfriends. My brother is bald. I lie about my age. My cousin owns a Pub. I live in the boondocks. I play in bands in my spare time, and think in melodies. I ignore dogs. I have Skeletons in my closet. I have hugged trees. I prefer the company of hippies and gypsies. I wear a tie to work. I kant spel, and blame it on lysdexia. I like the theme song to Kaptain Kangaroo. I fight to protect green and open spaces. I avoid Wal Mart, and chain resturants. I only communicate with women who are on more peoples favorites list than meI do not want to date a gal who likes football either, football is MY time. I tried to list every flaw, I probably missed a few. Some of them are even true. I have no idea why so many people like me. Just give me 5 minutes to talk away my ugly face