Co-Captain for next Intergalactic Voyage - 55 male in Freehold, New

I am divorced, no children, looking to complete a new family with a new mate and possibly hers. Hope to find someone who doesn't refer to her "ex" as the "a-hole". Looking for a partner to talk about the downs as well as the ups. I'd love someone who could "ponder" with me whilst we incinerate marshallows on the kitchen stove, sing campfire songs while it is raining out.:jump: I want to know:-Why HOT DOGS come 6 in packs, and HOT DOG ROLLS come 8 packs,-Why Jello "gels",-Why we park on driveways, and why we drive on parkways,-What's the difference between Baking POWDER and baking SODA,-How come mirrors reverse LEFT and RIGHT, but they don't reverse UP and DOWN?,-Who was the first person to say" See that chicken there?. I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta of it's butt",-Why is there a light in the fridge, but not in the freezer?,-If Wile E. Coyote had all that money to buy all that ACME crap, how come he just didn't BUY dinner?,-Why do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little star have the same tune?,now stop singing and answer this.-Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? I know where "Whale" oil comes from. I know where "Olive" oil comes fromWhat I really want to know is where "Baby" Oil comes from! This one really gets to meWhat the hell is "Daylight Savings Time"? How do you save it and does it earn interest? If it is such a good idea, how come no one can make up their mind about staying on it or off it?. We go on, we go off, we go on, we go off. It was fine when no one had a watch. Now everything from Mr. Coffee to "a girls best friend" has some kind of clock in it! -If they can grow watermelons that are square (and easier to ship) how come they can't grow them with built in handles?,-Where does all the rubber that wears off car tires go to, -If you didn't pick your nose (up to your third knuckle), wouldn't you eventually suffocate? I know where the "G-spot" is, but I wanna know what happened to "A thru F!". I can cook. (in multiple rooms) :eat:I'll make dinner any time you ask, and will always when know when it is ready cause you'll hear the smoke detectors. If you call from work and ask me to put the roast in the oven, you will know when that one is ready also, when you will see the pretty RED trucks (with all the flashing lights on them) in the driveway when you pull up. I make a mean Chocolate Pudding .some call it "MY-T-FINE".I do, and it is. I lable Blintzes so that you can tell which ones are cheese and which ones are potato"e" (kudows to Dan Quayle).(I use a Magic marker!.One stripe for Cheese, two for potato"e". (Apple and blueberry don't need no labels 'cause they " ze". If you think you can cook better than me, fine, I'll set the table and later throw out the paperplates. I fold my socks the way my mom used to. It ain't a good "way", but I do it any"way". I don't do any other laundry, I buy new stuff. Household duties?.I mow the lawn, and wash and fill your car with gas. Your kids pull the weeds. You vacuum the carpet (neat rows please).We all take equal credit for a nice crib when your mom comes over. Dog sleeps on one side. I sleep on the other. You sleep in the "middle" and we both keep you warm. If you need to get up in the middle of the night, you can take him out with you because he is on "YOUR" side, and he loves "YOU" more. I get my third, and the two of you can negotiate the rest. When we fool around we send him to the kids rooms and tell them all we are privately discussing a family vacation to Disneyland or Aruba. (They wonder why we do so much planning and never actually go."YOU" explain it to them). I will love your children as if they are my own. (I had a vasectomy). I will help them do their homework. You can show them what a clean, neat room looks like (I have flash cards from the 's). If they fail in school, I lock up their "KEY" boards, "SKATE" boards, "SNOW" boards, "BOOGIE" boards (and any other BOARDS they got!) They can get them back when they pass their "COLLEGE" Boards (or later when their spouses redeem them and also take their IPODS, backpacks, and their OZZFEST posters). Then we can make their rooms into a home office and a love pit. (Lava lamps, bean bags, black lights, water bed and JIMI HENDRIX posters). I love to travel. Hate to Fly, Drive or Sail. Looking forward to the next season of LOST to see if they really are LOST, and if Denny Crane is going to get a cure for MAD COW, and will Susan finally get married to "anyone" on Whisteria Lane?. I hate Oprahthink Judge Judy should be castrated, and miss Abbott and Costello, The Road Runner ("meep, meep'),Johnny Carson and Tony Soprano. I love animals, and truly wish I was a vegetarian. What can I say? I am Jewish guy who loves bacon. Yes I am a hypocrite, and I expect you to respect that. I love intimacy, and I am not into disposable relationships or superficial people. If you are looking for a casual date, I ain't it. I like to joke, but I take my relationships seriously. I don't really drink and don't know anything about Fruit Wine, but my Jewish heritage has educated me on Jewish Whine.:drinking: Only a few NON-NEGOTIABLES: 1-No SMOKERS, 2-No GEMINI's: (the Debbie Rule), 3-No ATTORNEYS: (the Meryl Rule), 4-No MANHATTANITES: (the Karen Rule),5- No women who have "COATS that had parents), 6-No IMPLANTS: (would rather have the SAG than the BAG. 7-NEITHER one of US is cleaning your kid's rooms or doing their laundry: (I am w y past that stuff). "EVERYTHING ELSE" is NEGOTIABLE. I am a straight shooter, still willing to take chances. I know when it is right, and I'll know it quickly. I know how to say "I am sorry". (you will of course not mention that to anyone),I will "always" forget your birthday, but, I will show you I adore you every day that "isn't" your Birthday. If you know the words to "Louie, Louie", can sing "Ba Ba Ba BarbaraAnn", like to cuddle to James Taylor you score extra points. EXTRA BONUS:.If there is [b]one woman in this entire state who DOES NOT LIKE [b]LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH[/b], DOES NOT THINK [b]HER CHILDREN ARE THE BEST THINGS[/b] THAT EVER HAPPENED TO HER and she DOESN"T LOOK GREEAT IN EVERYTHING FROM [b]JEANS TO A LITTLE BLACK DRESS[/b], and agrees that SUSHI REALLY IS JUST [b]BAIT[/b]:fishing:.I'll marry her on the spot! [/b]:applause: